Fall and the Power of AND: You Can Be Both

Oct 6

5 min read

It’s the start of PSL season.

Pumpkin spice lattes are back. Candy aisles are overflowing with Halloween treats and holiday sweets. Kids are settling into school routines, while weekends are filled with football games, baseball playoffs, basketball tip-offs and the beginning of hockey season.

Summer music festivals are in the rearview mirror, seasonal songs are making their way onto playlists, and somehow, almost overnight, the calendar seems to have picked up speed.

Fall has a way of reminding us just how quickly things change.

Nature showing us how to live in the AND.

And that got me thinking about one of nature’s most beautiful symbols: the double spiral.

Two energies moving together. In and out. Expansion and contraction. Light and dark. Holding and releasing.

Not either/or.

AND.

It brought me back to one of my favorite and most trusted mindset shifts for navigating transitions:

What if we stopped asking ourselves to choose?

What if, instead, we started looking for the AND?

Life has a funny way of convincing us that we have to pick a side.

Stay or go. Hold on or let go. Who you were or who you're becoming.

Success or fulfillment. Work or family. Old chapter or new chapter.

But what if your next chapter doesn't require you to erase the previous one?

What if you can carry something meaningful forward while still moving in a new direction?

That question became very real for me recently. Putting on an old pair of glasses

I found myself stepping back into a role that was once incredibly familiar to me:

Casting Director.

And something unexpected happened. It felt like coming home.

Not because I wanted to go backward. But because I suddenly recognized something that had never really left me. The curiosity. The instinct. The ability to see possibility in someone before they can quite see it themselves. The joy of connecting the right person with the right opportunity. The energy of being in the room—listening, noticing, imagining.

For a moment, I realized I had been looking at my own career through an either/or lens.

I thought I had to leave casting behind in order to move forward into coaching.

But maybe that was never the choice.

Maybe it was:

Casting AND Coaching.

Maybe all those years weren't something I needed to outgrow.

Maybe they were part of what I was becoming.

And that realization brought with it some beautiful full-circle moments—moments when I could look back at everything that had transpired and suddenly see the threads connecting where I had been, where I am now, and where I might be going.

That is one of the gifts of transition:

Perspective.

When we're in the middle of change, we often can't see the pattern.

We just know something isn't working anymore.

We know we're uncomfortable.

We know something is ending. We know something is calling us forward.

And because we're uncomfortable, we can assume we need to make a clean break.

Transitions don't always ask us to become someone new.

Sometimes they ask us to remember who we already are.

That idea is at the heart of my work.

Through my NEXT framework™, I help people move through transitions with curiosity, possibility and a fresh perspective—looking back not to stay there, but to understand what we want to carry forward.

Because a next chapter isn't necessarily about starting over.

It's about looking at what you've learned, what you've lived, what still matters, what has changed—and asking: What comes next?

Not: Who do I have to become?

But: What parts of me are ready to come with me?

Try the AND Lens™

This is where another Next Chapter tool comes in:

The AND Lens™

When you're facing a transition, identify the two things you've been treating as opposites.

Then ask: What if both can be true?

What becomes possible when you replace OR with AND?

Maybe it's:

I can miss what was AND still be excited about what's next.

I can feel uncertain AND still take the next step.

I can love someone AND still have boundaries.

I can feel overwhelmed AND still take one small step.

I can accept myself as I am AND still want to grow.

I can change my mind AND still trust myself.

I can honor my past AND create something new.

And maybe, for me:

I can love casting AND love coaching.

The AND Lens™ isn't about forcing two opposing ideas together.

It's about getting curious about whether they are actually opposites in the first place.

Sometimes the AND reveals a possibility we simply couldn't see when we were looking for an OR.

So the next time you hear yourself saying:

“I have to choose…”

Pause. Get curious.

Ask yourself: What am I making an either/or that might actually be an AND?

And then:

What becomes possible if I don't make myself choose?

That small shift can create room.

Room for nuance. Room for possibility. Room for movement.

And sometimes, room for a part of yourself you didn't realize you were allowed to bring along.

You can have both. You can be both.

You can honor where you've been AND move toward something new.

You can change your mind AND stay true to yourself.

You can miss what was AND be excited about what is coming.

You can grieve an ending AND celebrate a beginning.

You can be afraid AND be courageous.

You can be uncertain AND keep moving.

You can take a new route AND bring your old wisdom with you.

You are allowed to grow.

You are allowed to change.

You are allowed to take a new route.

And you are also allowed to discover that something you thought you had left behind still has a place in your life.

That's the paradox.

And perhaps that's the point.

Carl Rogers captured this beautifully:

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Acceptance doesn't mean staying stuck. It creates the space to move.

A Next Chapter invitation

This is the work I love bringing into the world.

In my Next Chapter Groups, with individual coaching clients, and through speaking and workshops with organizations, I create space to look at transitions differently—to slow down, get curious, challenge the either/or thinking, and find the possibilities hiding inside the change.

Whether you're navigating a career shift, an empty nest, a new identity, a relationship change, a milestone, an ending, a beginning—or simply wondering, What do I want this next chapter to look and feel like?—you don't have to figure it all out alone.

Sometimes you just need a different lens.

That's what I hope to bring to you: a new way of seeing the transitions you're already living.