What's Next?

Tis the season when we often hear time periods being truncated into chunks and labeled as ‘final days of school’ or ‘end of the year’ activities and exams. Even the permanence of a marking such as ‘last bell’, reserved for graduating seniors, anticipating the closing tones echoing through their high school hallways, brings with it an eerie ‘endings’ emotional response. Yet as the calendar flips from the month of MAY to JUNE, I can not help but reflect on what this season is meant to show us, move us towards, and what comes NEXT for us all…

In our home, 4-letter words are used with frequency. Sure we use some expletives when we are excited or exacerbated, but mostly we use 4-letter words to LOVE and to LIVE, to FEEL and to HOPE, for today and for our futures! Our daughter used to dream up her own imaginary playground, where her horizons were filled with fiestas, family, and friends, dining at her 4-Letter Word Cafe. Our son is a self-described “VERB-person” constantly in motion, in pursuit of his goals, identifying his emphasis on habits as his superpower. My 4-letter favorites fluctuate. Depending on our HOME and its TONE, you will see me with a LIST, moving to the TASK at HAND, striving to get things DONE. And with the TIME I have left, you will FIND me focusing on WHAT Comes NEXT?

Right now, this season and these DAYS are leading me to a state that is part foreign and part familiar. A place where I can see and appreciate all that is in the rare view mirror while the horizons ahead are broad and blurry…Where to go and What comes NEXT seems to be on the forefront of our minds and conversations these days.

Our youngest child is getting ready to graduate high school and preparing for the next phase of LIFE. And like many of you parents, we are often bombarded with probing questions from family and friends, asking “How do you feel about having an Empty Nest?” Which evokes to me images of a suddenly voided space. Recently, some have adopted an alternate terminology, asking us “What will you do now that you are a Free Bird?” Using this phrasing to describe the households once filled by our children, who are now graduating to their next chapter of life, feels misleading. This lingo also elicits a certain type of image, as if we were jailed by our time as parents, and now have been liberated from such bondage. Although most of these inquiring minds are well-meaning, the notion that we have a place that was once Full, now being Empty, and an existence that was once inhibited, now being freed, is urging me to explore what’s NEXT. By unpacking what the word “Empty” means and why it traditionally invokes such feelings of loss and despair, I hope to shed light on the road ahead for myself, and for you as well. 

I remember learning about the concept of opposites during my preschool years. We were taught these ideas with illustrations and demonstrations; there was black and white, high and low, dirty and clean, full and empty. Similar to many young students, I would actively seek ways to find or to create the opposite of something. It became a favorite pastime and classroom game. The idea that something was either full or empty created structure and certainty to my young self. Finding comfort in the clarity, I became a master categorizer. Patterns provided comfort and everything ‘having its place’ gave me a sense of security. Yet, as the concepts became more complex, it became clear that between the extremes of the two, was where the magic lived.

When I hear a space or a situation described as ‘empty’ I visualize a vacancy. The word Empty can awaken a sadness, like something is absent or being taken away. However, I realize that it’s this in-between magical landscape where we can truly chart a course that is as unique and as Full as we crave and create our road ahead to be! I believe we can rebrand the idea that Empty Nest means something (or someone) is being taken away. Yes, our children are moving on, and they will be missed when they are not home, but there needs not be sorrow or feelings of deficient when experiencing what comes NEXT. When I step back and consider the idea of an Empty Nest, I have come to understand that it actually means MORE. It translates to more space, more time, and more living to do!  Flipping this concept around can lead to more choice and more clarity. Adjusting the lens, to see an Empty Nest as an opportunity and a promise of the magic still to be created can be invigorating for the whole household. Using the Latin description of Tabula Rasa, it is the blank slate where we all have the choice and the chance, and the clean canvas on which to create our own masterpieces.

Yes, when we are creating a work of art, there are many 4-letter words that we might use with regularity! But especially this time of year, I hope you put the paintbrush in your hands and feel inspired and invigorated to make moments and memories that matter. During these days of MAY, where the Summer season is peaking its head around the corner, I encourage YOU to see what your personal skyline is pointing you towards and which details and gradations you can add to its horizon. The month of JUNE has the potential and the power to hold a brand new habitat with summery scenery for you to explore what comes NEXT.

Wishing you a new Summer Season filled with  Moments that Matter & Memories to Cherish as your NEXT adventure continues...